Thursday, February 13, 2014

Waiting on the Day

The day will come when it's no longer a thought
When the battles I have fought are no longer a near fear.
When I can answer the phone without being afraid of what I'll hear.

I use to hope for the day when we could talk
When my kids would have a grandpa or their "pop-pop"

Those days are since gone, and I know they can never be
No matter what happens I just cant shake the memories

I just wanted a family, I just wanted a Father
I wanted a hero, I wanted to be a Daughter

It is hard to accept that things will never change
It is hard to push through and forget all the pain

Hearing your voice I thought would make me cry
I thought it would open a door for you to say "I'm sorry I lied"

But just like any other time before,
You defended her actions and said nothing more

You didn't try to open up, you didn't seem to want to talk
You simple stated the obvious and were no help at all

I don't know why I ever thought that things could one day change
You will always be the same man who simply gave me a last name

I'm waiting on the day when I don't think about you
When I don't get sad over memories of us
When one day I realize, I was enough
When one day I realize that there was nothing I could do
When one day I realize that its not my fault, this is on you
When April 11th is another day 
When I can accept the fact that you will simply never change.

Waiting on a day that will probably never arrive
Waiting ...waiting... waiting for the rest of my life